He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
