Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
