can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize