i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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