there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
