Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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