Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This toilet bowl is my home.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
