I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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