WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
