so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
