My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
