One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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