And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
