I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
