u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the day after is always just damage control
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
