You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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