EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
