You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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