Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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