he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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