this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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