I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize