I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I know her cup size but not her name....
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