you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
