Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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