nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There r osticjed everywhere
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Success! We fucked roommates!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
