He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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