she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
