I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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