Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My dad just said "fuck circus"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
