just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
