sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
