Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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