that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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