it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So squirting runs in the family.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
