I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
