So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
