that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so let's talk penis.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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