well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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