so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
