Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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