honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
