Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
