He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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