I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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