she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
