these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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