allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im holly from the hills drunk
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
A+ Viking dick
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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