I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
