OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
