"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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