I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
