**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
