no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
