What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
