I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
God I need to hump something, right now.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
