he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
