Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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