You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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