and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I cockslap morals
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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