So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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