make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
