I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
