Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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