imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize