i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
