I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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