ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
