why didn't you poke me back
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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