Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize