Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
