What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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