I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
