I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Im part way to drunk.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize