we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
