Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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