Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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