my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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