at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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